Our life has been changed in last one year completely. I do not think we as collective can be able to go back in our lives which we used to have before 2020. This pandemic surely we will pass in near future (at least I hope that), however, the changes it brings into our life, that will remain. The loss, pain and sufferings lead us to face ourselves, contemplate about our lives, our belief systems, our psychological programming and many more things. I believe, we all, at some point during this time, go into a self reflection mode, and are compelled to find ways for a better living among all of these constraints. Our lives go upside down and we all are struggling to deal with it at many levels. Today I want to share with you some crucial points which I found useful in the betterment of my emotional health.
- Never feel sorry or ashamed or afraid to express your emotions. Being vulnerable is no more a weakness today. We should be used to being vulnerable in front of people and we must allow others to be it as well. If anybody does not understand you or blame you or belittle you for expressing your emotions, then they are not worthy of you at anytime. We all need not to take personally others opinion of us and be comfortable with that. If we know what we want, if we are comfortable within us and confident about it and most importantly, if we are taking responsibility of our own emotions and actions and life in general, then really there is no need to worry about how the world perceive us.
- We have responsibility only for our emotions and actions. Other people’s emotions are not our responsibility. We all have good, bad and ugly emotions time to time and that is perfectly alright. Other people’s emotions are their responsibility. Build a firm boundary for your own emotional health out of self love and do not entertain anyone who holds you accountable for their own emotions.
- We always have choices in our life. If anyone feels stuck in life then it is their wrong belief system or childhood programming. We need to remember that this universe is diverse and we all have our individual places here. There is no need to fit into a particular community or society or anything like that.
- There is a difference between selfishness and self love. Difference is purely the intention. If your intention is only to love yourself and act upon it then it is not any selfish act anyways. Thinking about own self is necessary as it is our responsibility to make ourselves happy and content in our lives.
- Try to identify your fears. Your fears will tell you about your wrong beliefs and dysfunctional programming of your mind set. You can use your fears as the clues to become more self aware and taking actions towards it. You can reprogram your mind and belief system. It is like reprogramming the computer with new updates. For mind, the updates are new knowledge and wisdom. You are able to transform fears into faith. Both have no logical or rational explanation and most of the times we are not aware of our fears consciously. To become aware of fears, we need to question our actions and observe our thoughts patterns. We all have psychological thought patterns. We just need to identify it. Self reflection is the key here.
- Often we in our lives, make choices out of fear. Here is example of it. We all are wearing mask and wash our hands regularly whenever we go outside. But many of us do these things out of fear of covid. We can do these things out love as well. Difference is only the intention. We love ourselves and taking care of it. Love based energies make things lighter and fear based intentions make it heavier. Actions are same while the intentions are different which make us more peaceful. Hence, try to make choices out of love not fear.
- Sometimes it is needed to priorities our own needs. We should not do anything for anyone when we really don’t want to. People pleasing behavior is also a programming where we often sacrifice our own emotions and needs. If someone loves you, then there is no need to make efforts to make them love you. If you have to make efforts to make someone love or accept you, then that person is not for you actually.
- Building a sense of self is very important thing these days. When you become self-assured, nobody triggers you in the wrong reasons. Triggers mean the emotional stimulation. If someone or something makes you super happy or supper angry at any given point of time; you should ask yourself the reason behind it. You will know more about yourself which eventually help you to built or change your perception of yourself. Your triggers will tell you where you need to change.
- Don’t try to control your surroundings or people. You cannot do that. You will be burnt out if you really continue to control your surroundings. You only have control to your own emotions, actions and responses. You can only decide your course of actions among any situation. Watch your own emotions and take control over it.
- Having realistic expectations and radical acceptance of people is very much needed these days. Narcissism is everywhere. Our whole patriarchal system is itself a narcissistic system. Hence, it is very obvious to face narcissism daily life. That’s why having realistic expectations will save you from getting hurt and radical acceptance of people will get you out of conflict and will help you to make peace with it.
Lastly, we should always remember that our thoughts and beliefs must be inclusive in all levels. We all are equal, and represent only one species i.e. Homo sapience. Diversity is a beautiful thing. Discrimination over diversity is like going against the nature. An invisible virus shows us that we all are same. Our life is the consequences of our own choices and we should take responsibility of our own choices in life. Becoming self aware is the first step towards making better choices in our own lives.
Author: Dr. Trisrota Bhowmick
Author is a doctorate in coal geology from IIT (ISM), Dhanbad, India. Right now she is waiting for visa approval for her post doctoral studies in China. It seems a long waiting for her due to travel restrictions for covid. She is a tarot reader too. She has a YouTube channel where she uploads tarot readings of several of topics. This is a bilingual channel where she do readings both English and Bengali language. She is from Raiganj, a small town from West Bengal, India.
Links of her YouTube channel, Instagram page and Face Book page are below: