“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow”.
For most of us, however, getting angry isn’t a problem, it’s what we do after we become angry that often has negative ramifications in our lives. .
If the world lived by this quote it could reduce the violence. The meaning for the quote is to say that if you put the anger behind you, you will not have to live with the burden for the rest of your life.
It doesn’t mean you have to let things just happen to you. You have to think about what you are doing or you will have to live the consequences for the rest of your life.
Anger has once again reared its head- in the form of daily frustrations or even deep-seated resentment. Each and every one of us is familiar with the possessive quality of anger. It affects each one of us the same way (but some of us more than others). When we get angry, we can “become another person” so to speak.
The emotion of anger is like a huge wave hitting a rock, it smashes into the rock uncontrollably and the water from the wave continues to cover the rock for some time afterward.
But anger isn’t an unpreventable or even uncontrollable force, it’s an emotion which we can develop the ability to handle skillfully. By skillfully, I mean we can develop the ability the manage it, overcome it, and let it go without causing ourselves the same level of pain and headache as it once caused us.
Below are some ways to overcome anger effectively and in a healthy way, let it go, and prevent it from arising in the first place (developing the ability to stay calm in frustrating situations).
Identify the expectation & let it go
Most of the things we get angry about on a day-to-day basis are the result of the many expectations we live with. Learn to let go of these expectations and see how transformative it can be.
Pay attention to your Mental Health
Through meditation practice, especially something like mindful breathing, we can become closely connected with our bodies and realize that when we experience emotions there’s often an accompanied physical reaction. Paying close attention to your mental health can help you learn to let go of anger and manage yourself far better in frustrating situations.
Observe and contemplate on those around you
This is all about dealing with anger when you get into a mutual argument. If you can see this simple idea clearly in your mind at the moment of the argument, it can help relieve frustration and give you the ability to put the anger “under the microscope” so to speak to bring clarity to the entire situation.
Cultivate understanding and compassion
It makes sense that through cultivating a deeper understanding of a particular person or event we can learn to let go of our anger towards it entirely. They might annoy, anger, and frustrate you from time to time, you have love and compassion for them, and when you gain your head back from the episode of anger your compassion and understanding often takes over and begins to “cool” the anger down from there. However, that doesn’t keep you from lashing out in anger. Doing so leads to an apology after you’ve done something.
Most often, this is the result of what someone did to us further in the past. This sort of anger is very dangerous because it stays with us. It often turns into resentment as time goes on because we see how this anger has made us suffer, and resent the person for the way they’ve made us suffer all this time. To deal with this sort of deep-seated resentment or anger, always practice forgiveness.
No matter how you choose to handle your anger, understand that you need to have the courage to face it head-on and deal with it from the source to truly overcome it.