Home Monday Muse by Rekha It is Okay Not to Have Everything under Control!

It is Okay Not to Have Everything under Control!


Many people like to feel in control, and we are no different. We spend a lot of time and energy making plans and trying to keep on top of things. At the beginning of 2020 everyone had their wish lists prepared and planned that includes travelling to a new country, getting married, starting a new job or a venture, move to different country or even to be with your loved ones.

Transform Parent on Twitter: "Relax! Nothing is under control.  http://t.co/HkX3zlGelJ"If I was told a year ago that in 2020, my work hours as a IT healthcare professional would be reduced, I would be home quarantined for months in my apartment, I’d gain pounds in a few months, and I wouldn’t be able to visit my family in India or travel to Europe on a holiday, I would have rolled my eyes, laughed in disbelief, and thought to myself whoever is delivering this information had gone insane. That is the hard truth, this saying of “Man proposes, God Disposes” goes upright to this year due to the pandemic, and for many it has been an incredibly difficult, stressful, and uncertain year including me.

Aldous Huxley Quote: “In life, man proposes, God disposes.” (12 wallpapers)  - Quotefancy

We cannot really control what happens in our lives. Moreover, that is fine. In fact, once you really assent that you do not have control, it can be a huge relief.

When Coronavirus started to accelerate in mid of March, like many others, I started working from home as well not knowing about the uncertainties that was coming, staying up into the wee hours of the morning reading about Coronavirus and trying to make sense of what was happening. Panic was obvious, and I could not stop texting friends/family on every news update about how this Covid-19 was continuing to distress others and spread, which only propagated my fear.

This apprehension and restlessness was everywhere, worried about family and friends, finances, job security and revenues from business. Unknown prevailing not sure what to believe and not. Even now with the pandemic continuing, it is still so confusing. These last nine months have really strengthened why it is OKAY not to have everything under control.

The valuable lessons I have learnt about control is helping to decrease my angst levels when I am overwhelmed and stressed. I hope this might help others who may feel similarly in these uncertain times.

1. Life is full of uncertainties, and that is okay.             Uncertain About Uncertainties?

Life is far from certain. Businesses close, and people are let go from jobs all the time. Health issues and accidents can happen to anyone, on any day. Natural disasters can hit when you least expect. Relationships can change, and so on. Things can, and will, change at any moment, but we usually trick ourselves into not believing this most of the time. However not everything about uncertainty is bad news; while it can make negative events worse, uncertainty also makes positive events more exciting. It’s about being comfortable navigating through uncertainty and the best way to deal with it is to learn techniques that help you live with it, without the accompanying worry.


2. Focus on the journey, not the destination

Day 21 - 23: Focus on Your Journey Not The Destination! - The Soul CyclistDue to the pandemic, mind would always go into fast-forward mode. Will our loved ones be okay? Will we have a stable job? We keep waiting for that amazing things to happen in the future that will be the key to our happiness We become so capitalized and focused on the destination that we often neglect the bits in our journey.  It’s so relatable with each of one us. Isn’t it?

What matters is to stay in the present moments, going too far into the future with the fears will only add unnecessary anxiety to our life, since we have no idea what’s coming, or when. It is also important to also realize that worrying constantly solves nothing in the long run. It only creates more problems to fixate on and takes us away from life and all the precious moments that are unfolding around us in the present.


3. There are lessons every day.

Dennis Brown Quote: “Every day you learn something new.” (7 wallpapers) -  Quotefancy

Make it always as a reminder that there is NO quick fix. The endless cups of chai sleepless nights, tears and convulsions of depressions will all be worth it in the end. It is a constant learning curve/experience that is strengthened by awareness and being open. One thing life has taught me, it’s that it might not make sense until the end. It’s never as bad as it seems, so keep the faith and it’s a struggle, but it’ll be worth it.


All we can hope to do is to seek a steadiness from within, as the storms of life play out, and do our best to keep letting go. It is in the stuff of life that our practice really comes to play. Can we respond with grace, with wisdom, with tenderheartedness and surrender to the challenges of life? I am grateful for following practice of gratitude and mindfulness, as it helps me cultivate a steady heart, no matter what arises. So make your plans, do your best, but accept that things do sometimes go wrong. Most of the time they are fixable. Sometimes they are not fixable, but even then, time passes, and we recover and even learn lessons from these hard times.

Remember … “Nothing is under control”.

I wish everyone health inside and out. Meanwhile, be strong within yourself, and not lose your joy and hope throughout.

The Above Article is Written by 

Rekha Kantilal

An avid dog lover and traveller by heart, she love going out, meeting new people and generally getting the most out of life – whether that’s trying new places and restaurants or picking up a new hobbies or sport or learning new skills.

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