Many tend to think long-distance relationships are one of the hardest possible ways of loving someone, and I agree to fact that long distance relationships come with their own unique challenges; Good, Bad and sometime Ugly. That’s a harsh reality.
However as saying goes, “Distance means so little when someone means so much”.
And I truly believe in this, if someone really matters to you, you would make everything work to be with that person even if the distance thousand miles between the 2 people who want each other in their lives. And I’ve witnessed some of the beautiful souls who are making it work no matter different time zones and distance, influence their ways of communication, it only mattered that they had found their way back to each other.
And the fact also remains that It’s not easy to keep up with the constant uncertainty of the future, and one might often feel tired of external factors that hinder the relationships.
When it comes to surviving the distance, here’s what one need to learn.
Always need something to look forward to together
One of the things that kill long-distance relationships is the constant underlying uncertainty of everything. Uncertainty will make you think, “Is this all worth it?” “Does he/she still feel the same way about me as before?” “Is he/she secretly meeting other without one knowing?”. That’s why when making any long-distance relationship work, it’s crucial to always have some date that you are both looking forward to, time you are both able to see each other like visiting each other, applying for job in their country or plan a vacation to explore new country together, perhaps
If you stop having some milestone to look forward to, the harder it will be to maintain the same enthusiasm for, and optimism in, each other.
Be Slow to Judge
As a human psychologically, when we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are often either exaggerated or else completely wrong. it’s important to maintain some skepticism of your own feelings. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what’s going on and the best thing you can do at any moment is to simply talk to your partner about what they’re feeling and about what you’re feeling.
Growth is even more crucial in a long-distance relationship. There must be some goal that you’re reaching for together. You must have some cause that always unites you.
It’s important that you speak, listen, write, fight, and laugh with your partner about everything that’s meaningful to you both. This approach may work for some people, your communication should happen organically. It so happens that sometime you don‘t hear from each other every day; sometimes you can‘t call for days due to busy schedules or other priorities, that’s okay.
Remember to respect the other person ‘s schedule and space; Don’t expect the other one to be available all the time. I think it’s important to keep it light to a certain degree so that there’s no need of constant (virtual) presence that would be draining at some point. Even if you aren’t miles apart, you want to find the right balance of interaction, and spice up communication with surprises here and there. You want to handle challenges as a team and become closer through them.
Make distance Temporary
A long-distance relationship cannot survive without hope. And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that the two people involved will one day be together and achieve a Happily Ever After. Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless.
Remember, Love is not enough. Both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values, and mutual interest, and must also feel as though both are working toward that vision.
Is it worth it? yes, it’s always worth it. Because even if the relationship goes down in flames, you will have learned a lot about yourself, about understanding, and about commitment.
The point is to not deny the hard parts, but also to not feel paralyzed by them. Know that physical distance does not equal emotional distance, and there is so much to explore. It’s really what you make out of it.
These are just a few ways to find strength and happiness in a committed long-distance relationship.
What’s your biggest love challenge, and how do you overcome it? I would love to hear from you.