“If it weren’t for love, the sufferings we experience wouldn’t be worth it. If it weren’t for the sufferings, we wouldn’t cherish the good things life gives us”.
No matter how hard you try or how badly you wish you could, you cannot control every single aspect of your life: the flat tire you got this morning, your unraveling relationship, or the sudden layoffs at work.
Sometimes we all wonder, “Life is so hard, isn’t it?”. life can be painful. Devastatingly so. Life can take what you love from you and ask you for a response. There is nothing easy about it. Life can ask everything of us.
It becomes clear that no one has no control over pain in life or grief and it’s going to take the time on its own. One has to surrender to it and trust that one day something might look beautiful again.
Surrendering isn’t something that can happen all at once. Sometimes you would think, “you’ve given in now,” only to wake up fighting again the next morning. You won’t feel good. But you have to exists, breathe and live with that truth.
It is a paradox; you realize to keep working hard at showing yourself in order to give up. But surrender is not a moment—it is a working through, with a context. It is a moment of grace surrounded on either side by days of showing up.
Here is what I learned from going through difficult phase of life and back. This is my personal list of thoughts and reflections and I hope something here will resonate for someone else who is going through the same.
Invest in yourself
This is the time to give yourself the environment you need to heal. Anxiety makes the body tense. Investing in
of self-love, you must love yourself before you can expect others to love you. It is our responsibility to take the time to develop our gifts and talents, so we can best serve others.
Live a life even if you are hurt
Make plans. Self-care activities, lunch/coffee/dinner with friends old and new. Go for a walk even when you don’t feel like it. Do things you enjoy; find a new hobby, take a course. Don’t overbook yourself but make sure you are engaging with life in some way outside of your work. It is through this engagement that something new can arise.
Take leap of faith
Tell people what is happening for you. This can be difficult when you are obliterated by life, because our culture expects us to put on a positive face. You will be surprised at how many people in the world can identify with pain.
Love Is Always Possible
Not in every relationship. Not in every moment. But love is always possible.
My job is to keep my heart soft. To keep feeling through what life throws at me and what life takes away. Because eventually joy will come round.
Love is the act of keeping your heart open no matter what comes. Love is the care for yourself and the world to keep it open despite fear, rage, grief, humiliation. To keep living.
That is what I have learned from experience. That is what I have learned from life. Love is possible. We need each other. And we can always love.