“True friends love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be”
Many of us are so caught up in our own lives, so rushed and preoccupied, that we acknowledge the people we are interacting with only instrumentally. We fail to see them as individuals. If you ask people what their most significant sources of meaning in life are, they, perhaps unsurprisingly, list their close relationships.
It’s true that one of the pillars of a meaningful life is a sense of belonging—which you can cultivate with your partner, children, and closest friends.
Being a realist, I’ve always believed in true heart-to-heart connections with other human beings as the most fundamental component of strong relationships, above cultural backgrounds or titles.
We all want to have meaningful relationships. To do that, we have to be open to having deep connections in the first place. The problem is deep relationships take work. Too often, we just don’t feel we have the energy to create relationships that will last. This might make you wonder what your life will look like in your golden years.
Relationships can be challenging. The quality of our relationships has a big influence on the quality of our lives. Relationships require attention and energy to thrive. When ignored, they degrade and wither away.
How many friends have drifted away from you over the years?
So here are few points that can enhance the relationships and life: –
1. “Fix” yourself First
The people we bring into our lives are often attempting to patch our shortcomings. Forgive yourself. You can’t be happy or find meaning in your days or peace of mind unless you have forgiven yourself. When you raise your own life, you will naturally boost your standards.
2. Focus on what you can provide to the others
It doesn’t take much to make most people happy, most of the time. When the other person is happy and content, they’ll be in a better position to make you happy, too.
3. Have deep conversations
All friendships and romantic relationships start at a casual level; things must become deeper over time if the relationship becomes more meaningful.
4. Consider important details in their lives
We wouldn’t like when someone forgets our birthday or doesn’t ask us about our first day at a new job. Take notes if you have to, and stay on top of the critical items going on in the lives of your friends and family.
5. People always remember how you made them feel
One might forget what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel. If you can make the other person feel good, your relationship will grow.
6. Be patient and forgiving
Learn to forgive and forget the occasional outburst.
The effort takes to build meaningful relationships may seem like a lot of work. What if we told you that the benefits of deeper, more intimate connections with others will make everything else in your life better.
We can choose to value people rather than devalue them. We can invite people to belong. And when we do, not only will our own lives feel more meaningful, but our relationships will be better, too.